One of my biggest influences in the realm of personal development has been the work of Carl Rogers, the pioneer of person-centred counselling and author of 'On Becoming a Person'. I first came across his work while studying entry-level psychology and explored it further as I trained in counselling over a decade ago.
The greatest thing about Rogers' methodology for me is his humanity and compassion. He is extremely considerate of our individuality, emphasizes potential rather than pathology, and allows a lot of space in his theories and frameworks for people to be themselves and live the concepts in accordance with who they are.
One of these frameworks, and the one I'd like to discuss in this article, is the seven characteristics of a fully-functioning person, which he discusses in his excellent book On Becoming a Person. These qualities aren't something we reach at; instead, they're a continual process we strive for (Rogers refers to this as "the good life).
As you'll see, these qualities are more philosophical in nature than practical life advice, and many of them are interconnected. They're all about optimising our human potential and offering a beneficial summary of things to be aware of as we reflect on our daily lives.
Here are the Seven Characteristics of a Fully-Functioning Person;
# 1. Growing Openness to Experience
Having a growing openness to experience is about learning to accept the circumstances of life as they are, without needing them to be something different. It's also about stepping away from defensiveness. In this light, Defensiveness might be characterized as: "self-defense in the form of righteous indignation or innocent victimhood to avoid a perceived assault."
When we feel under emotional assault or criticism, defensiveness is generally synonymous with redirecting the blame away from ourselves and onto someone else. We are more receptive to what is unfolding before us as it occurs since we are less prone to react in an unconscious, knee-jerk manner.
# 2. Living Life Existentially
We tend to interpret our experiences through the prism of what we already believe about ourselves and the world, usually in a way that confirms these beliefs. However, when we embrace Rogers's "increasingly existential lifestyle," we reverse this process, allowing our personality and self-concept to develop based on what we are experiencing (rather than the other way around).
So, what does this imply in practice? Let's assume a person praises us for a job well done. If we apply our current belief system (which holds that we're not very good at what we're doing), we might dismiss their statement as them "just being polite" or even respond with, "Oh, it was nothing...," thus rejecting the compliment. However, if we allow our experience to shape our self-esteem, we may accept this compliment for what it is. Just a compliment.
This, too, demands us to cultivate mindfulness and live each moment completely. What I enjoy about this quality is that it includes a little mystery. Who knows what's possible if we let ourselves be open to our present-moment experience?
# 3. Increased trust in the Self
Self-confidence, in a nutshell. This is about believing in our judgment and ability to act appropriately in any situation. It's all about developing our sense of ethics and personal moral compass (rather than simply following the beliefs of others around us). This then leads us into...
# 4. Freedom of Choice
When we trust our internal procedure and external actions, we gain more freedom of choice. We are conscious of the distinction between “have to” and “choose to,” and because we understand that we have the power to respond in any scenario, we accept responsibility for our choices and conduct.
Granted, we live in a world where many people do self-centred, greedy, vindictive and highly destructive things, and while we have no freedom to choose what happens to us, we 100% have the freedom to choose how we respond in each situation that we face.
It's true that in some contexts, "control" has a negative connotation, but it is also true to say we have complete agency over all of our decisions and actions, allowing us to be who we are and act in accordance with our values and sense of right and wrong. Which then leads us to...
# 5. Raw Creativity
With the confidence to be ourselves and the self-trust that comes with it, we are able to be more inventive. As Rogers points out, without feeling compelled to conform to norms and values that are in conflict with our own, we may be even more creative when it comes to adjusting to our circumstances. Some people go on to found multinational corporations, socially innovative enterprises, and world-changing products or services during this stage of human development.
# 6. Consistency and Constructiveness
This idea appeals to me because it addresses the relationship between our inner and external selves. Rogers describes this as being open to all of our requirements while also maintaining a balance between them. According to Rogers, when individuals develop a congruent view of themselves (one in which their self-worth, self-image, and ideal self are similar rather than distinct), even aggressive needs are answered by inherent goodness within the individual.
# 7. A Purpose Oriented Life
The “fully-functioning” individual, according to Rogers, feels pleasure and pain, love and heartbreak, anxiety and bravery more intensely, and does not need more of or less of these experiences. The purpose-oriented individual is open to experiencing everything that life has to offer - including both good and bad.
Human beings cannot choose to be ignorant of specific events: when we numb so-called unpleasant emotions, we also numb everything. Receiving the entire spectrum of human existence - the good, the unbearable, and the heartbreaking - means opening ourselves up to a full, rich and purpose-oriented life.
And living life this way isn’t easy. As Rogers writes in On Becoming a Person:
“This process of the good life is not for the faint-hearted. It involves stretching, growing and embracing more and more of one’s potentialities. It involves the courage to be. It means immersing oneself fully into the stream of life.”
So to summarise, is it possible for you to become a fully functioning person?
Yes, of course, it is. But to achieve this, you must become willing to let go of any expectations you have regarding how your life should go. Lose your opinions, disregard your biases, your fears, insecurities, and embrace the opportunity you have to step apart from the norms that the majority of people live their lives by.
PRINCIPLES INTO PRACTICE QUESTIONS:
What are your initial thoughts about these characteristics?
In what ways are you unwilling to accept certain experiences?
In what ways can you become more fully functioning today?
