Showing posts with label Freelance services. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Freelance services. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 23, 2022

Nuke those hiding-in-plain-sight redundancies.

 


I don’t know of any writer who doesn’t have redundancies in his/her draft. Okay, maybe seasoned writers like Jerry Jenkins don’t. It was at a workshop on this very subject taught by Mr. Jenkins that captured my attention about it.

In some areas, like computers, redundancy is a good thing, but in the realm of writing, you want to avoid it. It unnecessarily adds to the word count.

Most errors I notice in my editing have to do with body movements. Those are the kind that hide in plain sight.

  • Stood up
  • Sat/squatted/knelt down

Military terminology aside (stand down), the only direction you can stand is up. And down is the direction of sit/squat/kneel. If your character is lying in bed and sits, then sit up would be correct.

  • Shrugged his shoulders
  • Nodded his head
  • Blinked his eyes.

These actions aren’t performed by any other part of our body.

Clapping is another action typically performed by hands only. Yes, we can clap our feet, and if that’s what your character does, then “he clapped his feet.” But let’s not split hairs.

Others hiding in plain sight:

  • The rising sun peeked above eastern horizon.
  • The sun setting in the western sky painted the horizon a vibrant orange.

What are the redundancies in those two sentences?

Other redundancies aren’t as obvious and many require a greater command of vocabulary.

  • She shook her head no. (To shake your head means no. Nodding means yes.)
  • I melted with one look from her large doe eyes. (To be doe-eyed is to have large innocent-looking eyes. Delete large.)
  • The sequins of her dressed glittered brightly in the sun. (To glitter is to shine resplendently. Have you ever seen a dull glitter? Delete brightly.)
  • His gentle caress comforted me. (Caress denotes a light touch. Delete gentle.)
  • Her face showed confused bewilderment. (To be bewildered is to be confused. Delete confused.)

Can you think of others? Be sure to examine your WIP for redundancies.

 

Saturday, August 27, 2022

Who is Lynelle Clark and why do I write?


I am Lynelle Clark, a multi-genre author since 2012.

As a proud South African, I love my country, its rich history, and diverse nationalities. It has a rich source of ideas which makes creativity so much easier.

I always loved books. Since school, I got lost in the many pages of the local library. Konsalik was my absolute favourite and read each of the translated books available. His gripping stories took me to worlds so different from mine that I could not get enough.

In fact, when I realized he was a German author, I learned the language to become an air hostess and see the world. That dream never realized because of the height restrictions of The South African Airways.

Life happened, and with limited options available to me, I became a stay-at-home parent. Finding peace and solace between the books where I discovered countries and their way of life fascinating. This anchored me, but the craving for more was always alive.

The desire to write was a silent wish I rarely talked about, keeping personal journals year after year until I found myself overwhelmed with life in my late forties. I never thought I was good enough and did not write, but my life’s turning cause a profound change in my thinking. It became a trigger mechanism that launched me into a new season, and I am still exploring the various sides of writing, finding my peace within the walls of books and paper.

I have self-published 4 books to date and authored short stories in my native tongue (Afrikaans) regularly. More books are waiting, characters waiting patiently to tell their stories through my pen, and I plan to publish at least two in 2020. The stories in my mind an ever-growing source of creativity which cannot wait to come out.

Books are essential to our everyday life.

For bookworms, it is important to hold a physical book in their hands instead of reading it on an electronic device. As a book reviewer, I must read the various formats available on my laptop; it is easier and quicker, but it is not the same. A book is authentic. It fits perfectly into your life; you can sit anywhere and enjoy the feel and smell of it while turning the page.

As an author, I have a diverse range of professional experience in various industries. Which gives me the backing to write multi-genre books. Through my passion, vision, dedication, and diligence, I consistently show my love for the book world. As a self-employed author, I have published my first book in August 2012, entitled A Pirate’s Wife.

In 2014, I published Bella’s Choice, a contemporary romance which looks at the alternative lifestyle and the choices that go with it. Blood Mines was a novel about South Africa's acid water problem. In early 2019, I published my very first Afrikaans book, GedagteKringe, filled with fictional stories and nonfiction pieces.

 If it’s in God’s will many more will be published. I have learned to take it as it comes and allow each opportunity to bring me closer to my purpose.


Friday, August 26, 2022

I am ready to help with your next Project.





Dear valued client,

I have 10 years’ experience in fictional and non-fictional writing. I have self-published six books and collaborated with seven other writing projects. Two of them are devotional books, Worthy to be Loved and one in Afrikaans, called Skakels in my Ketting.

I have a keen interest in Christian Living and apply this knowledge in my writing to give the reader a better understanding of the topic.

I have written articles for an English online magazine for a time and was a content writer for an internet radioprogram for single women.

I have a quarterly newsletter and will add the links to the newsletter for greater reach.

I write both in North American and British English and make use of ProWritingAid to assist with the grammatical areas. A proofreader will polish the final manuscript to make it publish ready.

I create all book covers on Canva or ask graphic designers to assist when in doubt. I understand the entire process from beginning to end and would like to assist.

I help with page layout and create the conversion to Kindle.

I can create all profiles on relevant platforms and do the uploads. 

For a complete list, click here.

How I work:

I write the first draft and send it back for your reading and feedback. 

I am a very diligent writer that likes to complete a project in time. I have a good eye for detail and will be in contact with you regularly.

Once you are satisfied with the manuscript, it would be sent to the proofreader for a last read. 

Once completed, and you are satisfied with the end result, the project is completed. 


I can assist with the following:

Page outlay, printing quotes, book cover, ISBN, and create profiles if you don't have. 

I trust we can establish a good relationship. I await your response.


Kind regards

Lynelle Clark

Author / Freelancer / Coach / Virtual Assistant

Linktree

Contact: lynelleclark@outlook.com for a quote



Services

  

   



Like my Facebook page, Lynelle Dot Remote Assist to stay up to date. 



 Bookings are essential.

50% of payment is required before the start of the project. 

For smaller projects, the full amount is required.

Here are snippets from my work. 

Testimonials.

O I am available for selected charitable projects. Please contact me with the details and the date required. 

o My weekends are my replenishing time, please respect that.




Lynelle Clark Company Profile.pdf by Lynelle Clark



 
Lynelle Clark Design Examples by Lynelle Clark




Thursday, August 25, 2022

Christian Snippets

 

Christian articles

As a visionary, it is imperative that you remain blessable. Translation, you must adhere to a set of beliefs and behaviours that reflect this connection. Your creativity may want to develop in a certain direction that will set you apart from "competitors", however, you must embrace the standards set forth by your connection. If you follow Christ, the Scripture will be your guide. If you follow a more spiritual or traditional belief, you follow that guidance.

Since I am a believer, I can advise from the scripture. Take it with an open mind and see the results at the end.

2 Chronicles says that the Lord strongly supports those whose hearts are completely his. Question: How important is it to you that the Lord strongly supports what you are doing? If it is important, then your heart must be completely his. When you embrace what is important to him, you bring your heart into alignment with his. When your heart is completely his, you are blessable.

We can divide your core beliefs and behaviours into two categories: general and specific.

General beliefs and behaviours are what every person/believer should adhere to. Things like honesty, purity, and integrity should be embraced regardless of our vision.

Failure to follow the general standards has caused countless visions to come apart at the seams. We have all seen visions damaged by mishandled finances and unresolved relational conflicts. Or miscarriage and abortion had taken place before fulfilment because of jealousy, pre-mature speaking, etc. It accounts for just about every failed vision I know of.

Specific beliefs and behaviours are specific to your particular vision. I can't tell you what these would be for you. You must figure them out on your own, with God's help.

Non-Fiction Snippets

 



Dream Till God gives You Assurance.

I am not a person who always says what's on my mind and seldom what's on my heart, but I am prompted to do so today. A revelation that lifted my spirit.

Maybe someone needs to hear it as well.

I start to write in 2010.

I wrote to block out my reality.

I wrote to block out the empty cupboards, the demanding phone calls of creditors. Writing kept me from looking out the window to see the tall grass that could not be cut. My eyes swimming in tears as my children left their safe place because we could not provide in their needs anymore. I felt like a failure, worthless and purposeless.

I wrote to block out all the anger and pain, the rejection we have experienced from church, the lack of support from anyone we thought were our friends at that time. Standing alone in a very harsh world, without support, it is a harsh place to be.

I wrote of lost dreams and empty promises all in fiction form. Because in fiction I can write a happy ending. Though my world had nothing to offer me.

I wrote 22 books during that time. Only five books were published so far. Many of my books started off differently from its conception. But as I grew, the stories grew, changed, and developed where they are now: published and read.

At that stage, there was still a ‘we’ in the equation. After 2014, ‘we’ became I...one. though I took the step to walk away, I was off balance with no understanding or idea of how to move forward. I had no form of financial support, had no income and no earthly possessions.

Then I began to dream. It was a slow process of trusting myself first, then others.

(This was a long process and one I will not talk about now. I want to get to the revelation part.)

At the end of 2019, I was invited to attend an Eksderde camp where Marié Bosman (van den Berg) spoke directly into my life. Infused with God's knowledge, she said, "God has given you a blank page."

It elevated me, but I didn't understand. I ran with it like a thirsty beggar but still felt unworthy, not sure where I fit in. I was still off-balance, unsure and desperate. And very much in lack.

Was God's promises of yesteryear still effective? Did my current dreams coincide with God's plan for me? How did it all fit? Were some questions I faced.

Then I met Joe van den Berg, and he said, "Your past is the past, you have a new slate. The words you received, the promises you received, they are over. It is time for new ones."

It was like a click within.

It is a clean slate. From this moment forward, all promises and dreams is a new beginning.

The revelation part:

I read the Fourth Dimension from Dr Cho, where he talked about receiving assurances from God for your dream.

And the second click happened.

Back in 2010, I wrote to forget; I wrote about anything. From spiritual stories to erotic and everything in between. It was my saving grace during a difficult time. It blinded me from reality. But it also blinded me to many truths. At the times the lies became bigger, and my sins had a field day.

Since 2019, my writing has changed. My fears and anger do not surface within the pages nor my desires or longings of things not meant. It is more focused now.

My dream is to be a New York best-selling author, to own a book and coffee shop and create a safe environment for all creative beings, not only writers. 

To get back to Dr Cho's book and to cut an exceptionally long story short, he said to keep on dreaming and talking about it. For others, it might seem foolish or a pipe dream. Sometimes I feel neglected and even looked over, but He encouraged me to keep on dreaming and planning until God gives me the promise, the red seal, so to speak. God will approve or object, but my work is to continue with it until...

When you step away from a long-time marriage, your world tilts dramatically. In this time, God will allow you to make decisions and even allow you to make mistakes while He keeps you safe... Looking back I can point you to all the times He provided and protected me from myself and others that meant me harm I am still in awe about it.

The best part of this long tale is that when God gives you a new page, he means it. But he also wants to see how serious you are. By giving you a clean slate, He gives you a second chance. We all begin anew at some stage of our lives. All you have to do is keep on dreaming and doing until God gives you the red seal, the assurance.

That dream will propel you forward. It will help you grow and it will help you find your feet again. Just hang in. God is in control.

If you are unsure or off balance because of life's knocking around, push through. Get the dream on paper. See it. Live it until God comes and put a stamp of approval on it. If not, then it still will not be wasted time. Because you have learned new skills. Who knows where it will lead?

Trust God when he says he has given you a new page.

Copyright Lynelle Clark 2020

 


Newsletter 

It has been a while since my last writing. With so much that has happened the last year, I never really felt to say something specific. As if words failed me. Or maybe it was just how the Lord has worked with me. But it doesn’t matter.

What does matter is that we do as God leads us. On this road of recovery/returning, I am more aware of what I do, and how I do it.

Those who know my path till today know how much of a financial struggle it is to survive. There are days I wondered if I am listening correctly. Days I don’t stay connected with God as much as I should. There are even days that I miss reading or listening to the Word of God.

Ever since the lockdown has begun in 2020, I knew that many things have changed. Looking for work has ground to a stop, but God has supplied in my needs even then. Small favors of grace, actually.

When the government announced the special grant for unemployed people, I submitted my forms as well. When that R300 dropped into my account, it was like manna, sweet as honey. International writers would request a review and pay me for a blog post and so with every payment, when added with the R300, gave me enough of an income, and faithfully I tithe where God directed.



Writing

Maybe your writing lacks punch. Or you’ve hit a brick wall.

Don’t give up! With help, your message still has the potential to reach the masses.

I can’t turn you into a bestselling author overnight, and I urge you to suspect anyone who says they can.

But I believe I can help improve your writing immediately.

1. Don’t aim to write a bestseller.

That’s the last thing I think about when I start a new book. To have any chance at success, my manuscript must come from my passions, the overflow of what I really care about.

I have no control over the market, sales, reviews, and all the rest. All I can control is how much of myself I give to a writing project.

What’s your passion? What drives you?

Write about that.

Your passion will keep you at the keyboard and motivate you when the writing gets tough—and if you’re doing it right, it always does.

2. Always think reader-first.

Write Think Reader First on a sticky note and place it where you can see it while you’re writing.

Your sole job is to tell a story so compelling that your reader gets lost in it from the get-go.

Treat your readers the way you want to be treated and write what you would want to read.

That’s the Golden Rule of Writing.

Never let up, never bore. Always put your reader first.



Newsletter

The last couple of months were the most exciting but also hurtful times I had in a very long time. Although silent in the sense that I wrote nothing, my life had undergone twists and turns; each opportunity a learning curve where I discovered so much of myself, as a person.

As a woman walking this path alone, I realized my vulnerability and how people would use you, sometimes even with your permission. For a long time I lived in a very safe cocoon allowing others to think for me but since I made the bold step to stand on my own, taking responsibility for myself, I realized that my understanding of life was very much shaped by my circumstances, and the people or culture I lived in at the time. In short, I wasn’t street smart, and I had to learn quickly how to fit in or be devoured.

Because of the safe haven, I perceived people in black and white with little or no grace towards them. Now those unyielding glasses had fallen away and my awareness of life became more colourful; making room not only for my own mistakes but those I’ve met. Life isn’t rigid or set in stone but a kaleidoscope of laughter and passion, where I discover new opportunities at every corner—venturing out in the unknown to find incredible prospects and beautiful things along the way. I’m amazed at my boldness walking into places I would not have dreamed to do previously and, in the process made friends. My pioneer spirit revelling in the new person emerging from the cocoon.

In my vulnerability, I’ve learned to trust my gut; I made mistakes when I disobeyed that little voice who diligently watch over me. While doing this I learned to have fun laughing more than I did in a long time. I learned that it’s okay to mess up—no longer do I chastise myself in doing so—and at times ate some humble pie, but it taught me valuable skills that serve me in my daily life and work environment. I work with people every day and I experience the good, the bad and the ugly all in one week. As human beings we have different perceptions, but when finely tuned in—making the effort—the ugly turns out beautiful, the bad good and the good sometimes bad. Life is a fine balance between them all.

Billionaire Romance

 

Billionaire Contemporary Romance

My laptop was sitting on my coffee table, staring at me, as if daring me to pick it up. I refused to do so. I knew, the moment I did, I would check my email, and I didn’t want to stalk my own messages because it was bad enough that I was constantly thinking about what might be there. It would be worse if I was obsessively checking my inbox like I was dying to.

“Laurel, can you forward me that coupon you have for those boots?” my roommate Jane Banner asked as she came into the living room of our shared apartment. “I want to order them before they run out of my size.”

“Sure,” I said, trying not to show my disdain. My roommate, Jane, is so sweet, it’s hard not to do what she asks despite how I felt about my laptop at the moment.  It was the last day that applicants for the prestigious MBA program at Cambridge University could expect to be notified of whether or not they had been accepted into the program, so I hadn’t even picked up an electronic device in the last three hours. Normally on a Saturday, my phone would be glued to my hand. Not today. While I really wanted to know if I got in, part of me also knew if I never checked, I couldn’t be disappointed.

“What’s that face?” Jane asked, standing in front of me with one hand on her slender hip. “I thought you weren’t going to use it.”

“No, I’m not. The coupon is yours. I just don’t want to check my email.”

“Oh! Laurel, please!” Jane said, bouncing over to me as she rolled her eyes. “You’ve got this. There is no doubt in my mind that you got in.”

I made a face at her and opened my email, deciding to search for the email she wanted from the swanky boutique I just happened to have a coupon for first. I found it and forwarded it to her and then quickly scanned my inbox.

The door opened, and he got out, offering me his hand. We weren’t at the front of the hotel, though. We’d pulled into a private garage I didn’t know existed. AJ tugged me along behind him, and we entered the building, going straight to an elevator that was near the entrance. He pushed a button, and the door closed.

Immediately, he backed me into the corner, and I was lost in his blue eyes. His lips were warm and soft when they came crashing down on my neck. His hands settled on my waist, my arms wrapping around his neck. I hoped no one else entered this elevator and imagined we were giving the security guards watching the cameras a show.

His hands travelled up from my waist, higher and higher until they were so close to cupping my breasts, I gasped with anticipation. His kisses became deeper as he sucked and nipped at the flesh between my neck and shoulder. I lowered my head and found his ear, dragging his lobe between my teeth and closing my teeth gently until he moaned.

The elevator chimed, and without letting go of me, he pulled me along through a short hallway and into what had to have been the penthouse suite. His lips found mine as we entered a bedroom with a massive bed and a spectacular view that I only got a few glimpses of. When he began to unbutton his shirt, there was nothing else in the world that could’ve kept my attention more than the lean physique I was staring at. His chiselled abs were rock solid and disappeared into his pants in an intoxicating V that drew my fingers to trace along the edge.

I quickly took the cash and my phone out of my secret hiding spot and kicked off my shoes as he discarded his shoes and socks and took off his watch. Whatever it was he’d been messing with earlier, he set on the nightstand along with his wallet and the room key. I wondered if he had a condom, but I wasn’t about to ask. At this point, I wasn’t going to ruin the moment to ask about protection when I wanted him so badly, foolish as it was.

His eyes were dark and smoky as we met each other near the bed. He tugged my dress down and out of the way, leaving me in only my thong and demi bra. My hands rested on his belt, and his mouth came down on my neck again. This time, his hands found my breasts easily enough, and through the thin lacy fabric, my n*pples hardened instantly at his touch, leaning into him as he pinched and kneaded my sensitive flesh. I unhooked his belt, but I struggled with his zipper when his mouth kissed a trail down my neck to my breasts, and he began to suck me through my bra.

I thought I saw a shadow cross over his eyes then, something akin to recognition, as if that hazy notion that perhaps we’d met before was playing in the back of his mind as well.

But then it faded. He blinked. “Good, good. New Yorkers are tough and hard-working.”

“Sir, I have the notes from the reports you were asking for on my desk,” Mr. Sanders inserted as if he felt the need to let the business owner know he was still there.

“Yes, just a moment, Sanders,” Mr. Grant said with a nod. “Since Ms. Rockwell will be heading such an important project for us, I’d like to ask her a few more questions to make sure she’s fully prepared to handle the matter at hand.” He stared at me, but I didn’t waver. “Something tells me she is.”

For the next several minutes, Mr. Grant asked me many questions about the company. Some of them were pertinent to the project I’d be working on, and some of them were general, posed simply to see if I’d done my research. Of course, I had. By the time the inquisition was done, Mr. Sanders was irritated, but it was clear that Mr. Grant and I had a good rapport and we could converse well with one another.

“Well, Ms. Rockwell, it’s been nice speaking with you,” Mr. Grant said as he took a few steps toward Mr. Sanders’s office. “Welcome to the company. I’ll be expecting a lot from you.”

“Thank you, sir. It was a pleasure meeting you. I am certain I will deliver.” I gave him a confident smile and started to step back into my office—but before I did, I thought I saw that strange look cross his face again as if he was trying to place me.

I went back to my desk and took a few deep breaths, glad to have that over with. The other women in the office were right; the boss was hot. But I wasn’t going to let that serve as a distraction. That wasn’t what I was there for.

Out of nowhere, Valerie, his secretary, whooshed in, closing his office door in my face. “He’s on an important call at the moment, Ms. Rockwell,” Valerie said, folding her arms beneath her bosom and jutting out her jaw.

I knew it wouldn’t do her any good to make Valerie angry since she was the gatekeeper, and it seemed that the secretary didn’t like me already, though I wasn’t sure why. “Thank you, Valerie. Would you mind letting me know when he’s free?” I asked, smiling sweetly and channelling my inner Jane.

She rolled her eyes and blew out a sigh. “Fine. I’ll let you know.”

Something told me I would be waiting a long time.

Frustrated, I looked over the list again, wondering if I would be better off just trying to fix the problems Myself. Mr. Sanders was my boss, so I felt that I should have his input when it came to solving the issues, but the project was mine to run.

I was on her way back over to talk to the key players involved in the project to check on their progress when I noticed Jeanine, one of the women I had gotten to know from working on the project. I had and realized fairly quickly that she was a straight shooter. She was beckoning me to come toward my office.

Something about the way Jeanine was acting made me think she was being secretive, so I fought the urge to tiptoe in that direction, like I was in a cartoon, but headed in that direction. “What’s going on, Jeanine?” I asked her in a low voice.

She pointed inside of my office, and I followed her inside and closed the door.

“Mr. Sanders won’t talk to you, will he?” she whispered.

“No, not really. Why? Do you have any idea what’s happening?”

She nodded. “Look, I didn’t want to say anything, but I really like you, Laurel. The thing is, he keeps doing this. He’ll hire a new project manager. The work doesn’t get done. It falls further behind, and he doesn’t care. It’s understaffed and doesn’t have the budget for such an extensive project. Rather than fixing those two problems, Mr. Sanders keeps blaming project managers and running through those. So… I am guessing his plan is to give you a month or two, wait until you fail, and then blame you, fire you, and hire someone else.”

I think they were wrong then, and it seemed like I was wrong now.

At least the project was still moving along. The team might’ve lost their faith in me as a person, but they were still doing their jobs. Jeanine knew that my sons were triplets, and while she didn’t know the truth about their father—that they were the product of a one-night stand that I had never seen again—she did know that there was a complicated story behind it.

The truth of the matter was, I hadn’t even been on a date since the boys were born, let alone slept around. I had told Jeanine I didn’t date much, and she believed me.

We spent a lot of our time together. Almost every day, we went out for lunch together, which kept me from having to go into the break room.

One day, Jeanine had a dentist’s appointment during lunch, so I went into the break room to purchase a sandwich out of the vending machine to take back to my desk.

“There she is, the office sl*t.”

That was Valerie’s voice. I’d know it anywhere because she’d hated me from the moment I stepped foot in the office, even before the rumors began.

I kept my eyes straight ahead and looked at the choices in the machine.

“I bet she chooses tuna,” someone else said. I wasn’t quite sure I understood the reference, but I knew it wasn’t nice.

“Well, she practically begged Calvin to take her home with him, and when he wouldn’t, she ran out of the bar crying,” Brad told them.

“Guess she just wants more kids to add to her collection.”

I didn’t know who that was, but it stung. A lot. I loved my children, but they were certainly not a collection.

“You know what I heard?” That was Wanda. “I heard that she slept with Mr. Sanders just to get that job to begin with.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that,” Valerie said. “I don’t think that Mr. Sanders would sleep with someone like her. He has higher standards than that.”

Everyone at the table laughed.

I must’ve been tired and imagining things; there was no way that Mr. Grant was interested in me outside of work. Who would want to take on a mother and her three wild men?

Not that the boys weren’t behaving. They definitely were.

“I can definitely read through the articles before Monday. Thank you,” I said.

“Be sure to bring your laptop, too,” he said. “I’d also recommend getting there a little early. The room tends to fill up quickly, and if you want a good seat, you should get there early. Oh, and I’m told it tends to get a little chilly in the building, so maybe bring a jacket.”

I tried to mentally take note of all he was saying, but without something to write it down, and the fact that my children were winding in and out of pedestrian traffic, I wasn’t sure if I would remember all of that on Monday. Not to mention they often dictate what time I can leave the apartment.

“Thanks again for coming to meet me here,” I told him. “I know it’s sort of unorthodox having a business meeting in a zoo amidst the animals and with my children tugging you all over the place.”

“No, it was fine. It was interesting to see you outside of the office. I had a feeling you were good at multitasking. Now I know for sure.”

“Thank you,” I told him. I prided myself in my ability to handle multiple tasks at the same time. I was glad I had the chance to show him that.

“It’s important for me to get to know the people I work with inside and out, Laurel. I like to know what makes them tick, what motivates them, that sort of thing. You understand?”

His eyes seemed to be looking into my soul, and even though I knew he meant in a clearly professional manner, the intimate choice of words he used made my cheeks flush.

It was Saturday morning, and the boys were in rare form.

During the three weeks of the conference, I had spent so many late nights and early mornings at the office, I don’t know if I ever qualified as having slept. It was more like a late night power nap before leaving early to do it all again.

Nancy had been my silent partner in crime, and was about one toothbrush short of living with us. I owed her fortune in overtime, but the leaps and bounds it had for my career were worth it—at least, I hoped so, anyway. Now, Nancy wasn't coming in on the weekend, and the boys were feeling the power shift and testing their boundaries.

While my circadian rhythms might have been all over the map, theirs were perfectly on target, kept in sync by the trusty nanny and a regular school schedule.

They woke up at around 7 am., and saw that I was still sleeping and, well, let’s be honest, suffering from the teensiest case of the wine flu. Being the little angels that I bore in my womb, painfully delivered, and tediously raised for the last five years, they decided to let mommy sleep and make their own breakfasts.

From the investigation that followed, I concluded that they snuck into the kitchen, and from what I could feel on the floor, got spoons and ate raw sugar straight out of the glass canister, which, miraculously, did not break. Then, they dragged a chair to the freezer and helped themselves to not a bowl, but an entire gallon of ice cream, much of which now covered the floor and had been turned into a Haagen Dazs-brand slip and slide.

It was then that Luke, who had missed the majority of the action on account of still being asleep, arrived at the scene. He realized that all hell was going to break loose once I awoke. He, oh-so-rationally, explained to his brothers that I needed to be informed of said activities before the shenanigans, and by extension, subsequent punishments, got any worse. This was not met with enthusiasm, and so Linus masterminded a plan with Liam to lock Luke in the bathroom.

The math added up. The boys looked enough like me. Why would she want to keep them from me? Why would she deliberately choose to raise them alone? To make a point? Out of pride? Out of spite?

The longer I thought about it, the more questions I had. I could provide for her, for my sons. For a family. She was living in an apartment in Queens, spending almost no time with her children in favor of climbing the corporate ladder.

That wasn’t fair, though. She was doing a phenomenal job raising those boys without me, even if she was barely scraping by. They obviously adored her. She seemed to be balancing her work life with her home life. The boys didn’t have any complaints; they were clothed and fed and cared for, they went to school, they had toys and games. Their needs were being met, at least physically.

But what about emotionally? Was Laurel home enough to truly be involved in their lives?

It was so d*mn complicated. More so than it needed to be. I could barely wrap my head around it.

I needed a new plan. Something that might convince Laurel that this was for the best, that I deserved a place in both her life and those of our children.

Our children. Ours. It felt surreal to even think the word.

It was clear, though, that Laurel needed space first. Time to cool off, to distance herself from tonight, and everything we’d said to each other.

It was only fair, then, that I take some time to distance myself. Maybe even to talk to someone else, to get their advice on this.

Mike was a great friend, and dead useful as a personal assistant, but in the end, he was wasted on anything romantic. I was fairly certain all of his romantic experience added up to a high school sweetheart and a secret passion for romantic manga—not that I’d ever tell him I knew about the latter.

My parents were right out. I couldn’t imagine their faces if I told them I had not one illegitimate child, but three. My mother would faint. My father might very well shout his way into having a stroke. That definitely wasn’t how I wanted to end up inheriting the company and all of its assets.

I sighed and started the long trek down the rest of the path. The walking helped me think, just like running did in the mornings.

I stopped suddenly.

Was it really them? Two of them, anyway? Were Linus and Liam over on the other side of the fountain?

No, it couldn’t be.

My hand instinctively reached for Liam—it was definitely Liam, after all—as he teetered on the edge of the fountain. He almost fell into the water.

The man they were with grabbed him by the shirt and set him back on the ground. He seemed okay; they were all laughing.

I jumped behind a tree so they wouldn’t see me as they passed.

Who was this man with my kids? Why was he with them? Did Laurel have a boyfriend she hadn’t told me about?

I watched them wander aimlessly, joking casually with each other. He swiped Linus’ nose with an ice cream cone. I wanted to punch that guy in the nose.

Jealousy didn’t suit me, and yet, here I was. The idiot, skulking behind a tree.

"Hey, Boss." Mike stepped up behind me. "What are you doing? Is this part of the paleo diet? There are some clubs that re-enact the caveman movement, to really get into the paleo lifestyle. In fact, I think they meet in the park."

Getting back onto the path, I purposefully walked a steady gait. "What do you have for me, Mike?"

"Still looking into the particulars, but it appears your father has never really retired. He merely took himself out of the spotlight."

"So he still has a hand in the business?"

"That would be correct, sir." Mike flipped through pages in his notebook, keeping a steady gait, matching me stride for stride. "He has several people on the payroll reporting back to him on how you’re doing."

I should have known. "Okay, that’s expected. Do we know who they are?"

"Not yet, but we’ll find them."

 

Pointers on how to navigate through this life.

  A Sixty-Year-Old’s Perspective. As we become older it’s easier to look at life and what we have learned because we look in retrospection...