Nuke those hiding-in-plain-sight redundancies.

 

I don’t know of any writer who doesn’t have redundancies in his/her draft. Okay, maybe seasoned writers like Jerry Jenkins don’t. It was at a workshop on this very subject taught by Mr. Jenkins that captured my attention about it. In some areas, like computers, redundancy is a good thing, but in the realm of writing, you want to avoid it. It unnecessarily adds to the word count. Most errors I notice in my editing have to do with body movements. Those are the kind that hide in plain sight. Stood up Sat/squatted/knelt down Military terminology aside (stand down), the only direction you can stand is up. And down is the direction of sit/squat/kneel. If your character is lying in bed and sits, then sit up would be correct. Shrugged his shoulders Nodded his head Blinked his eyes. These actions aren’t performed by any other part of our body. Clapping is another action typically performed by hands only. Yes, we can clap our feet, and if that’s what your character does, then “he clapped his feet.” But let’s not split hairs. Others hiding in plain sight: The rising sun peeked above eastern horizon. The sun setting in the western sky painted the horizon a vibrant orange. What are the redundancies in those two sentences? Other redundancies aren’t as obvious and many require a greater command of vocabulary. She shook her head no. (To shake your head means no. Nodding means yes.) I melted with one look from her large doe eyes. (To be doe-eyed is to have large innocent-looking eyes. Delete large.) The sequins of her dressed glittered brightly in the sun. (To glitter is to shine resplendently. Have you ever seen a dull glitter? Delete brightly.) His gentle caress comforted me. (Caress denotes a light touch. Delete gentle.) Her face showed confused bewilderment. (To be bewildered is to be confused. Delete confused.) Can you think of others? Be sure to examine your WIP for redundancies.   Written by Debra L. Butterfield Contact Lynelle Clark for all your projects.